Two Kinds of People

Last year Daughter #2 was a freshman.  She took some honors classes and had a difficult school schedule, along with playing on a competitive soccer team.  There were many times she would stress about upcoming projects or tests, homework that needed to be completed and the nagging feeling that often accompanied her that she never had enough time to do all that was required of her. Her soccer coach, who was not only a great coach, but also a wonderful mentor, had a saying that he would often tell the team:  there are two kinds of people....those who succeed and those who find reasons they can't.  
This became something I picked up from her coach and would often repeat to her at times when she found herself overwhelmed.  Many times it was frustrating for her when she would be complaining and telling me all the reasons things were not going to work out or how impossible the situation was and I would respond with "there are two kinds of people".  Usually, I didn't even have to finish the rest of the statement because she knew what I was saying to her.
Of course, we also had many conversations where I told her that I wanted her to come talk to me about her feelings, her frustrations, her worries and her doubts.  My telling her there are two kinds of people was not a way to shut down the conversation or to invalidate what she was feeling.  Many of her feelings were valid and legitimate.  However, at the end of our conversation, she had a choice to make.  And often that choice had to do with which attitude she was going to choose.
I believe that our mind is a very powerful tool we have been given.  As with most powerful tools, we are required to learn how to use it in a way that helps us rather than hurts us. Our mind, when used right can help us find solutions to problems.  When we say phrases like "I can't" or "that won't work", or "that is impossible" we let our brain off the hook and it perceives the job is done.  However, when we ask instead "how am I going to make this work?" the brain is tasked with finding a solution to the problem.  Often we find that we are capable of doing far more than we thought possible.  How many times have you said to yourself something like "I can't do this one more day" only to find that the truth is you can do it one more day. Sometimes you may look at all the tasks the upcoming week holds and think "I'm never going to make it through this week" again, to find that you do make it through.
I believe that it is our discomfort with discomfort that leads to saying I can't. When we become comfortable being uncomfortable we are then able to do things we didn't know we were capable of.  It leads to a merging of action and awareness.  For example, most of us when we first started to ride a bike started off wobbly, we felt it was risky and we had an awareness that we could fall and get hurt.  As we continued to ride and got better at it, we stopped thinking about falling.  We were no longer wobbly and it didn't feel very risky.  We had an awareness of our ability to do the task at hand. And we were aware that we could do it well. When we are engaged in activities that require our effort, our focus and our skill we open ourselves up to the process of growth.
A couple of weeks ago I was in our kitchen talking with my husband about how busy my upcoming week was.  Between my work schedule, work projects, family schedule, home projects I was feeling a bit overwhelmed.  Daughter #2 seized the opportunity....smiled at me and said "two kinds of people!"