Bravery is being a courageous person. One that does not shrink from threat, challenge, difficulty or pain. It is speaking up for what is right, even if there is opposition. It is acting on our convictions.
What I have learned over this month as I have been practicing bravery is that often, my anger lies close to my bravery. For many of us we were taught that anger is bad, that it is a fault, that if we can't say something nice, we shouldn't say anything at all, and that we should "go to our room until we can be nice". But anger is something we feel. And when we feel it, we want to do something with it. We want to yell, we want to hit something or someone, we want to break something, we want to kick something, we want to scream, we want to use our voice and insult that person, really let out a zinger. But because we are taught to be nice people, we bury it instead. We stuff it down, we medicate it, we ignore it and we put a smile on our face. This isn't really helpful when it comes to anger. Anger is meant to be respected. Anger is meant to be listened to. Anger is meant to be acted upon, not to be acted out. Anger is our alert system, it tells us to pay attention. Anger shows us what our boundaries are. It can let us see where we have been and what we have not liked. Anger points us in the direction we need to move, towards the actions we need to take. With a little thought and a bit of insight, we can usually decode the message that our anger is sending us.
Once we have decoded the message that our anger is sending us, the next step is to then act upon that message. Again, anger is meant to be acted upon, not to be acted out. There are many ways we can act out our anger. We can get explosive, using many of the tactics listed above. We can get mean and nasty with our words. We can be cruel, arrogant and dismissive. We can be passive aggressive. We can be patronizing and demeaning. We can be sarcastic and biting. We can be silent. Acting upon our anger, however, doesn't look like any of these.
Acting upon our anger may call us out to speak up, to take a stand. When we are brave, this comes from a place of wisdom, a place of knowing. A place in our core that holds us to our personal truths.
Bravery can look like trying something new and not being afraid to fail. It may be asking a question, or loving somebody unconditionally. Bravery may look like seeking forgiveness. It may look like facing our fears or finally seeing the unbearable truth hidden behind our pain. Bravery looks like showing up...all of us...our real self. Sometimes bravery means saying no. It may be following our dream and trusting that the path will open up.
I think if you were to ask people if they think they are brave, most would tell you no. For many of us, our brave moments don't stand out as brave moments. However, when we start to practice our bravery, when we pay attention and look for it....I believe we will be surprised at how brave we all are.
