My Ability to Love
Is Greater than any Wound
I will Experience
Life is
challenging…I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s supposed to be. I believe that every person struggles and
nobody is exempt from difficulties. I
believe that people do their best with the skills they have and that the world
breaks everyone.
There was a time in my life when the idea of getting married and bringing
children into this world created a lot of anxiety. I didn’t feel capable of bringing a child
into a world I knew could be so harsh and cruel and helping them navigate
through it. Fortunately for me, my
husband isn’t the kind who gives up easily and loved me until I felt safe
enough to love him back. Three years
after we were married, our first of four daughters was born. Suddenly, the world seemed a different place;
what was once harsh and cruel now seemed to hold such beauty and hope. I had no idea that this level of love lived
inside me. I loved seeing the world
through my daughter’s eyes as they made each new discovery; the feel of grass
on bare feet for the first time, figuring out how to sound out words or
mastering that multiplication problem.
My daughter’s ages now span from 17 years to 10 years old. They’re old enough to have experienced heart
break. To learn for themselves that life
can be cruel. One of the lessons I hope
they are also learning is best summed up by P!nk: “we’re not broken, just bent and we can learn
to love again.”
I still get lost at times. Unsure.
Scared. Sad. I still have days where I need to be reminded to let go and to
open up. As I go through all kinds of
feelings and experiences in my journey through life---surprise, delight,
chagrin, dismay, betrayal and disappointment, I hold this question as a guiding
light: “What do I really need right now
to be happy?” What I come to over and
over again is that only qualities as vast and deep as love, connection and
kindness will really make me happy in any sort of enduring way.
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